Heathers

Movie, 1989, R

Premise – Veronica is the odd one out in her high school’s popular clique – All the other girls are named Heather. Nevertheless, she’s just as bitchy as the Heathers, following the demands of the Queen Bitch Heather Chandler to her breaking point. When her boyfriend J.D. “accidentally” kills Heather #1 in Veronica’s presence, the pair fake a suicide note. This sparks an opportunity to spread suicide like a contagion, killing others under the name of suicide and indirectly persuading the vulnerable to kill themselves.

Review – My first thought was… what the hell?!?! I like weird. I like dark. I like satire. This is a black comedy. It should be up my alley but… what in the world?!? All of the other implications of this film – suicidality, bullying, teenage sexuality… none of it could really have an effect on me because I was too busy wondering how Veronica could be so overwhelmingly stupid, even in the context of a black comedy. Let’s recap:

-Her boyfriend suggests they feed Heather drain cleaner. Veronica worries that will kill her, so she gives her milk and orange juice instead to make her throw up. One liquid is clearly bright blue. The other is a milky orange. So J.D. “accidentally” grabs the wrong cup to kill Heather? We know as an audience pretty early on that this guy is a psychopath and the murder was intentional, but Veronica doesn’t even question his actions. Stranger still, she’s not even mad at him afterwards for making the “mistake” and continues to date him.

-Then J.D. goes on to suggest that they “fake” kill two football players, and has Veronica write them a suicide note. Veronica wonders why she would need the suicide note if they’re not going to actually kill them. J.D. explains that they will only appear to be dead. The bullets he has are real, but they aren’t lethal. They penetrate the skin, cause bleeding, but don’t kill you. And she believes that, willingly shooting the gun herself. Does she not realize that it’s the internal bleeding itself, and the bullet penetrating the skin, that DOES kill you, especially if that bullet is lodged in the neck? Also, even if that was true and these were magically fake bullets, what happens when the football players wake up with a fake suicide note? They would know someone was responsible and the school would start an investigation.

It takes her until after three people are dead to realize that J.D. is killing people on purpose. Of course, they explain all of this away with a Freudian “you believed it because you wanted to believe it was true,” hiding her unconscious desire to murder everyone who had wronged her. Doesn’t make it any better.

The film is a cult classic with two incredibly talented stars – Winona Ryder and Christian Slater. The main draw for this film was the two of them, as they had the acting chops to pull of such dark and complicated subject matter. All of the other actors were questionable. The pauses between each line of dialogue were painfully long, often as if the actor was taking the time to remember what line came next.

Now that I’m done tearing the film apart, though, I can see why it has such a longstanding appeal. It’s incredibly brutal in its depiction of teenage sexuality, language, and… well… psychopathy. It was ahead of the game. J.D. was trying to blow up schools before school shootings were even relevant. And there’s an interesting message to the film too – It’s part of the human condition to want to be popular, and tear down others in one’s best interests. We use the tragedies of others for our own gain. You kill a Queen Bee, another will rise from the ashes. You can kill all the evil people you want. Someone else evil will just take their place. This is inevitable. So maybe… DON’T KILL PEOPLE. (42/100)

Quote – “Whether to kill yourself or not is one of the most important decisions a teenager can make”

If you liked this movie, I'd recommend Mean Girls!

What to watch for – Young Winona Ryder and Christian Slater.

Director: Michael Lehmann 

Writer: Daniel Waters

Distributor: New World Pictures