Somewhere Inside, a Path to Empathy
Premise - David Finch writes about his own experiences discovering his diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (at the time, a specific lighter end of the spectrum known as "Asperger's") in his twenties. His epiphany of his diagnosis empowered him to learn how to change his behaviors, specifically his ability to communicate in his marriage.
Review - I came across this essay when it was narrated by Daniel Radcliffe for a podcast. What is this Daniel Radcliffe kick lately? A surge of projects has just happened to have been released around the same time, and I'm stuck in quarantine, so what else would I do? This particular release was not coincidental - DanRad actually recorded his voice piece in a closet during quarantine to have something to provide as an actor and I am HERE FOR IT. Ever since I heard him read a passage from the Woman in Black almost ten years ago, I have wished with every bone in my body that he would start making audiobooks. I just love the sound of his voice and the expression with which he reads. And this did not disappoint. Can he narrate more essays please??
But it's not just the sound of his voice that makes me appreciate Daniel Radcliffe, it's the meaning of the projects he commits to. This was once again a meaningful story that I would have never come across had he not given it exposure. This essay in particular is so beautifully written. It's emotionally profound, which is somewhat surprising to me given the diagnosis of the writer. It makes me wonder how much about the lighter end of ASD I don't understand. Like David's wife, I am only truly familiar with the more severe end of the spectrum and would have a harder time recognizing the disorder in individuals like David. My presumptions, however, would suggest that those with Asperger's lack emotional insight into both others and themselves. On the contrary, David shows incredible self-recognition and introspection. Is it that I misunderstood Asperger's, and individuals with it actually have profound self-insight despite their lack in social skills? Or is David the exception for his hard work in the area?
The essay is about David's experiences with learning empathy. It is perhaps one of the most optimistic pieces I've read on the subject because, from David's point of view, empathy CAN be learned even midway through life. Empathy doesn't have to be innate - something you're born with... perhaps it isn't in anyone. The fact that someone can practice empathy in a contrived manner to the point where it comes naturally is a very hopeful thing to realize about society. And I think everyone (not just those with Asperger's) can build some habits to practice empathy and communication. After all, the behaviors we see in Asperger's are behaviors we all have to some degree, at least I do. Everyone has self-interest that can be improved upon. (89/100)
Quote - "I’ve learned that people can develop empathy, even if by rote. With diligent practice, it can evolve from a contrived acknowledgment of other people’s feelings to the real thing."
What to read for - One of the real heroes of the piece is David's wife, who works with autistic individuals and helped him come to the realization of his diagnosis.
If you liked this essay, I'd recommend The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat!
Written by David Finch
Original published by the New York Times
Read for the Modern Love Podcast
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