Tough Love

 

 

Documentary, 2014, NR(?)

 

Premise - This documentary follows two broken families in their navigation of the child welfare system. Hannah, a poor mother with an ability to pay for enough space to keep her children, and Patrick, a single father with a history of methamphetamine use, both have the ultimate goal of gaining custody back. The documentary exposes how difficult it is to get a child out of the system once they have been taken in.

Review - This is why I appreciate being back in school. Not this documentary specifically, but the fact that I'm being exposed to stories, books, podcasts, and documentaries that I otherwise would not have heard of is such a blessing. I had to watch this and write an essay on it for my first class now that I'm in graduate school.

The essay assignment was to pick a particular parent or child from one of the two families, and understand the way their social/environmental context influences their behavior. I personally chose Patrick, the father with a history of methamphetamine addiction, partly out of a kinship with his being from Seattle. It was also partly because I found his situation to be more morally complex than Hannah's. Watching Hannah, there was not a moment of doubt about her ability to parent. She is an incredible mother who just could not afford a place to live. Patrick, however, put a little seed of doubt in me about his ability to parent, given his history of addiction throughout the reunification process.

I think I have a good gauge on understanding people and behaviors. What I really have little knowledge about is the child welfare system - the laws, the process, how it functions... The red tape. What this really showed me is that one phone call will get a child in the system, and it can take forever to get them out if they ever do. And the system can be incredibly traumatic. Also, a fact I already knew, most children end up in the system for neglect, not abuse. Neglect can be more directly tied to the socioeconomic issue of poverty rather than a misjudgment of behavior. Instead of taking the child away from a neglectful home, maybe get the family out of poverty?!?

 

I want to work with youth and their families, I really do, but what this documentary helped me realize (that I suppose a gut-check already told me) is that I do not want to work in child welfare. The constant conflict between meeting the needs of the parent, and meeting the needs of the child, while also battling how much to demand on a parent and how much is unfair given the fact that no other parents are held to these standards unless they're in the system... and I could go on and on about the other balancing acts. It's too much of a moral dilemma. Not to mention the child welfare system was built, foundationally, as a racist policing system that I don't want to be a part of. That said, I have the highest respect for current child welfare workers who face this battle everyday of having to comply with the system and do everything in their power to advocate for families and family safety. It's a lot to process. (92/100)

Quote - I don't have full quotes written down, but I was most emotional about hearing how Patrick is his best when in the presence of his daughter.

What to watch for - Gosh Natalya was so cute. I mean, all the kids are cute. Hannah's newborn baby was so cute.

 

If you liked this film, I'd recommend Marriage Story! Marriage Story is fiction, and it's not about child welfare, but it also gets you thinking a lot about court proceedings and child custody and the parental complications of it.

Directed by Stephanie Wang-Breal

Broadcast on PBS