On Our Own Terms: Moyers on Dying - Living With Dying

 

TV Special, 2000

 

Premise - This TV special serves as part one of a four-piece PBS documentary on peaceful death and dying. In our Western culture, death has become something to be frightened, and life something to be prolonged at all costs. Our advanced medicine has prioritized the elongation of life regardless of the consequences of well-being. This documentary shows the importance of accepting death, and the value of hospice care models that center peace and comfort over medical needs.

Review - Well I bawled for the full hour and a half of this. I didn't want this willingly - I did so for a class. I really am not someone that deals well with death AT ALL. I have never had to seriously grieve someone close to me - humans, that is. I have grieved my fair share of pets and those are my most awful memories. It reflects in my personality as someone who does not like change, nor endings. One of my favorite quotes of all time is Joe Hill's "Death is a raw deal for narrative junkies" - there's always more I want to know. I make the joke sometimes that I'd be one of those few people actually fit for immortality.

 

Another reason I struggle with death is I do not believe in an afterlife. For many of the patients in the documentary, that's how they cope. Sure, they're life is over, but once they die they'll wake up somewhere "else." It reframes death as a positive experience in a way that I personally cannot.

 

Professionally, I also see these values in my choice of work. I've centered a lot of my work around two things - young people, and suicide prevention. Suicide prevention might seem a little too close to death, if it's something I'm so scared of. But it's an example of working to stop death because I hate it so much. Working with young people also generally keeps me far away from thinking about death as around the corner. Mortality from suicide seems something that is far more in my control compared to mortality from medical causes. I can do mental health - I'm terrified of physical health. I would hate to work in a hospital. I would hate to work with the dying.

What this documentary did was smack me over the head with the reality that death is unavoidable. If we're going to die anyways, we might as well make that process as comfortable as possible. People want to enjoy their final years in their own home, around the people they love. Dying in a hospital covered in wires sounds like the most awful thing in the world. It hits especially hard during COVID times. But I sure did appreciate the hell out of this documentary. It makes me realize how much that, when my time comes - young or old, I would like my final moments to be peaceful. With that in mind, I'd like to advocate for the same rights for my loved ones (90/100).

Quote - "Dying without hospice is like surgery without anesthesia"

What to watch for - The individual old people's stories were touching. There was one guy called, maybe Beau(?) who was endearing. Of course, the main doctor guy with the esophagus cancer was inspirational. His vulnerable writings were almost too painful to listen to.

Part one of the Bill Moyers' on Dying series "On Our Own Terms"

Directed by Bill Moyers

Distributed by PBS